Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated by people's stories. And by reading about people's stories and how they became who they are and what they're building, whether it was in business or arts or culture, it was always about taking the seed of something and turning it into something greater. And so working with entrepreneurs and business owners over the last 15 years has been the most exciting and interesting part of my life, because you get people who have seen the world through a specific lens. They. They might see the world through a potential challenge or a problem or something that they're determined to solve. And now they need to rally people around, to raise funds, to get people excited about it, to get people on board, to turn that idea into real inspiration and reality. And so this book, Stand up, is about how you can use communication and public speaking to change your life, to attract attention and resources and people to your cause. Whatever it is you're building, if it's something important to you, you've got to leverage communication. And I know this is true, because communication has fundamentally changed my life. If you can get over the fear or the anxiety or whatever you want to call it and lean into the opportunity, what is this about? What are we building that is greater than the fear? And that's all that life is. It's just a series of challenges. And the world comes at you and says, this is how you feel about it, or these are your emotions. And then you have to kind of slash those aside and say, look, my commitment is greater than my feelings. My commitment is greater than my feelings. And so this book is designed to be part love letter to support and inspire you, but also part of a game plan so that you can get out there and start finding and creating opportunities to stand up for yourself, to stand up for your business, for your colleagues, for the people you serve and you want to serve.
[00:01:59] So, without further ado, I'm going to read to you the preface to Stand up how mastering communication will transform your business life and future.
[00:02:10] To Dexter and Luna, who show me every day how to stand up for our beliefs and values, and to those who seek the courage to share their voices, and to those who are committed to a brighter future, this book is for you.
[00:02:25] May it inspire you, ignite your purpose, and help you light the way forward.
[00:02:30] Preface. Rise of the humans again.
[00:02:34] Robot overlords are coming for all of us. I'm kidding. Uh, sort of.
[00:02:41] It's a chilly spring morning, and I'm listening to an interview with a prominent tech leader, the co founder of a company behind a model that exhibits human level performance on various professional and academic benchmarks.
[00:02:55] The excitement about large language models is palpable, but so is the anxiety about their implications.
[00:03:03] For now, I can assure you that it's me, Stuart, typing on a keyboard.
[00:03:09] Okay, with a little help from an AI grammar tool. All right, robots, we surrender.
[00:03:15] Or do we?
[00:03:17] At its core, I'm interested in what it takes to communicate compellingly.
[00:03:22] How can we connect with an audience in a meaningful way?
[00:03:27] I first heard of this tech leader on a well known podcast and while listening I was struck by how deeply their live conversation resonated with me. Two people talking, sharing ideas, communicating in real time, saying and ah, finding their words, being stuck and correcting themselves. It's so familiar, yet so compelling. We are more powerful when we add our humanness to our communication.
[00:03:58] Having spent many years writing and editing scripts and reading dozens of articles and books on psychology, communication and storytelling, I am more convinced that bringing our whole selves to can drive deeper and more meaningful connections.
[00:04:14] Your unique voice is your most valuable asset.
[00:04:19] It helps you shape your message and drive change. You can only achieve that by fully communicating with your entire being.
[00:04:28] Effective communication provokes others to care about your message. Without question, technology is changing how our messages are delivered and received.
[00:04:37] Every day we're bombarded with texts, emails, stories, short videos, tweets, tiktoks and mashups that shape our daily conversations and influence our worldview. How can we fully take advantage of our capabilities?
[00:04:52] This book is all about helping you stand up and stand out in front of others to inspire change, rally a cause and share a vision.
[00:05:02] The title of this book has three meanings. First, it's a nod to my time doing stand up comedy for almost a decade. From 2001 to 2010.
[00:05:13] Days were spent writing, rehearsing, traveling, performing, traveling back home, transcribing the set word for word, rewriting, editing, and doing it repeatedly. The most valuable coaching I received was to work on one tiny goal at a time per show, which helped me focus on one aspect of performance while also paying attention to the delivery of material, audience reactions, sound quality and more.
[00:05:46] Kay Anders Ericsson's book Peak reflects the principle of deliberate, consistent practice and was helpful in my journey from being a shy, nervous kid to a competent, inspired performer.
[00:05:58] Stand up comedy is both challenging and risky. Why?
[00:06:03] It's just you, your ideas and a microphone.
[00:06:08] No formal script to memorize, no light shows, no magic tricks, nothing. It's simple. Either the audience is laughing or they're not.
[00:06:17] And if you're not winning them over and making them laugh within seconds of taking the stage. You're in trouble if things aren't going well. It's painfully obvious to everyone in the room, but when it goes well, it's intoxicating, like you're in flow surfing a tidal wave of endorphins. Imagine stepping on stage, cracking a joke and hearing silence.
[00:06:40] That's the risk.
[00:06:41] In the beginning, I took classes to learn how to structure a joke and build a set. I pushed myself to improve by performing consistently, averaging 300 sets per year over 10 years, I performed approximately 3,000 times in public.
[00:06:57] Some nights I'd have up to three sets. Steve Martin talks about this level of performance in Born Standing up, referencing his time at Knott's berry farm performing 25 shows a week. It's baptism by fire. You learn by doing.
[00:07:14] And all of that hard work paid off by the third set of the night. The performance felt magical, fluid, fun and experimental. Working at it consistently was both exciting and transformative.
[00:07:27] I would write and edit current sets for an hour or two and spend time transcribing past sets, reviewing videos of performances, producing shows both live and on camera, and driving hundreds of miles to perform sets in Seattle, San Diego, Boston and many other cities. When I moved back to Boston, I brought nearly a decade of experience on stage and countless hours dedicated to mastering the art of communication through comedy. Having honed my skills in eliciting responses from an audience, I was eager to connect with the local community.
[00:08:03] Early into my standup career, I had both the best and worst night of comedy, all within 90 minutes. I was performing as the host and opener for a massive club in San Diego. I brought my best material and it went very well. I was committed to after an ownership mandated 30 minute bar break, it was time to do another 10 minute opener for the headliner. To my surprise, the next 10 minutes went even better and per my contract, I was done for the night. Time to relax.
[00:08:34] Then things took a turn for the worse.
[00:08:36] After about 20 minutes of a 45 minute set, the headliner wasn't going over so well, so we ended his set early. A cardinal sin in entertainment.
[00:08:46] This frustrated the rowdy, now inebriated crowd and angered the club owner. For some reason they asked me to go back up on stage and quote, win the crowd back. I agreed. Big mistake. Hey, I wanted to help and was kind of thrilled I was being asked back, but I was out of material. The crowd was full of booze and any weak crowd work I had wasn't going to save me. I bombed hard Ouch. Despite having a prepaid room at a five star hotel, I breathlessly gathered my belongings, sprinted to my car and sped away, hoping the cool night air whistling through my car windows would somehow soothe the sting of utter failure.
[00:09:29] Lesson learned do your job, do your best, and know when to sit down.
[00:09:34] Each performance is an opportunity to refine your delivery, finesse a line, and improve your presence.
[00:09:40] It could be bonding with an audience, acting out a new scenario, or upgrading your delivery by making better eye contact.
[00:09:47] On good nights, expand on new ideas. As Jerry Seinfeld said, good nights give you the courage to try new things. The bad ones give you the discipline to edit.
[00:09:57] That's why I record as much as I can. For one, it's to review the video and find ways to improve. But it's also to capture what you said, how you said it, and how the audience reacted. Then use them to improve.
[00:10:11] Of course, watching the video playback is not fun, but it's always about improving.
[00:10:17] Today, that fire to improve burns even brighter now that I know. My purpose is to help you, the innovators, change makers and leaders of the future, communicate your ideas with power, effectiveness and urgency.
[00:10:32] I once came across an ad for an event called Minute to Pitch It. Intrigued by the concept, I saw an opportunity to leverage my experience in helping people refine their messages. I attended and offered my coaching skills to the participants. At the event, I met three innovators, one in financial tech, another in biochemistry, and a third in fashion retail. Working with them to prepare their pitches was exhilarating. It combined the art and science of crafting concise, compelling communication, and I could see its immediate impact on their presentation.
[00:11:04] This experience ignited a new passion in me. These innovators and the transformative power of clear, effective communication inspired me. As word spread, more opportunities arose and my network grew. This initial spark of enthusiasm has only intensified over the years.
[00:11:22] Today, I remain inspired to help people with big, bold, brilliant ideas. My mission is to equip them with the skills and tools to convey their messages powerfully, drive meaningful action, and make a real impact.
[00:11:36] The time and energy invested in mastering the art of spoken communication is the most important focus of my professional life.
[00:11:44] Comedy gave me the basis of experience to understand at a deep level what it's like to communicate effectively.
[00:11:52] Comedy taught me that if you can trigger a positive, measurable reaction laughter from an audience full of strangers, you can surely move an audience to care about your idea with the right amount of energy and focus.
[00:12:05] That's what this book is about. You can impact others with communication to build the life you want.
[00:12:12] Standup is also a nod to evolutionary biology and psychology. The idea is that when you stand up from a group or a tribe, you're breaking from the group and creating an opportunity to capture attention and express leadership and vulnerability.
[00:12:28] Thus, one requires effective communication skills to succeed.
[00:12:33] The third aspect is increasingly more important as I get older. Standing up for what you believe in and making the most of your time on Earth. This is personal to me. My mom, Judy Papp, passed away a few years ago from ovarian cancer. She was an important influence in my life for many reasons, but one relevant to this book is that she loved public speaking. She won awards for it and she used it as a tool to make a more significant impact at work, in philanthropy and in life.
[00:13:03] She won awards for it and she used it as a tool to make a more significant impact at work, in philanthropy and in life.
[00:13:12] She volunteered for and led many organizations, including the nonprofit A Better Chance. Approaching her work with both purpose and whimsy, she was passionate about what anyone could accomplish by taking a stand for what they believe in. When she passed, I realized how fleeting life can be. We're only here for a limited time. If you spend time with this book, I am committed to providing some inspiration as to why you must Stand up to Stand Out. Part one Giving you some universal tools to help you share and amplify your message and giving you some ideas on how to get out there. Part 3 I hope you stand up for yourself, your family, your colleagues and your community.
[00:13:53] Stand up for what you believe in. Stand up for what matters. Here's to you Standing up to Stand out. If you want to be part of this community and this movement to empower those to share their voices and amplify their impact, check out DNATE d n a t e.com we have a mailing list there and we'll start sharing tips, strategies. It's all optional. You can opt out anytime you want, but this will give you inside access to any masterminds, coachings, events I put on and more. I hope to see you there and I look forward to seeing you on the journey. And here's to you standing up to stand out.
